I always try to be extremely witty on blog posts but I think I only ever manage to be informative. Take for instance this post... I was going to talk about the strategy of holding a book singing and all the ins and outs. (And then I hear my readers begin to snore) So instead, I think I'll talk about how hard it was for me to even leave my house to hold a book signing event...
In just a little over a month I have gone from an overly-excited extrovert to an extreme-pathetic introvert. I don't know how it happened. The idea of having to go out into public and sell my book, my name, my ideas, my face, the inner longings of my heart seems just too much for me. I feel a bout of hives creeping up my neck every time I think about holding a book signing.
My first book signing was so easy. I went to a close friend's Stella & Dot party and she said, "Hey, bring some of your books with you to sell." And so I did. I got to her house early, set up my small display and everyone bought a book that night. I felt like a gigantic success. Selling books was going to be a breeze!
My second book signing was a private party for another good friend of mine and she was the only one that bought books... fifteen to be exact! We went to lunch after the book signing and ran into a couple of friends at the restaurant who followed me to my car before my meal arrived and bought two books right out of my trunk! The ledge of book singing fear was getting farther and farther away from me!
And then suddenly the date of my BIG book signing at my church grew closer and closer. I watched the days pass faster and my anxiety rise higher. You see, the other book signings were easy because I knew everyone and somehow knew they would buy a book to support me. That's comforting. But to be at a book signing with tons of people you have never met before, that's a whole other story.
On April 20th, after a long and wonderful day at a retreat, I headed over to the main church to set up my table. My husband graciously carried all of the boxes in to the church and helped me set up the display. I hadn't even brainstormed about how the table would look! Fortunately, my wonderful friend and therapist had thought ahead for me and had a lacy table cloth in her trunk and a vase full of Gerber daisies for me!
Long story short, I met a lot of people that night and then all day the next day (I held a book signing after all five Masses that day). Some were eager to buy my book. Many walked away without buying a book. Some wanted to talk. Others asked questions that I was not prepared for and yet the Holy Spirit didn't let me down. I found out that my answer to "What's your book about?" was not enticing enough and that people really want to read memoirs. So many people asked if the short stories in Mended Fences were stories about real people. I was hoping to sell every Mended Fences book I had in my possession (which was over 400) and have people groping for more copies. I walked away from that weekend with a sense of purpose and a more humbled expectation of book sales and tons of people to pray for.
And that leads me to my most recent book signing. It was held at Coffee Waves coffee house on a Saturday afternoon. I was much more prepared for display this time, except that I left the outside signs at the house. So my husband dropped me and my cargo off at the coffee house and went back home for the signs. I was left all by myself ... exposed to a world I was not willingly wanting to be a part of. I thought the anxiety of holding a book signing would wear off after my first one, but the idea of hiding in the bathroom for the next two hours was growing more and more appealing by the second.
After I got everything set up, the Holy Spirit whispered in my ear to pass out push cards to everyone in the coffee house. I ignored him. He got louder. I ignored him louder. Finally when I saw my husband outside it was guilt that got me out of my chair. I didn't want him to find out that I was allowing my fear to keep me from doing the work of the Lord. And so I courageously passed out push cards to everyone. A couple of people came up and talked to me for a little while. One woman, Sandy, bought five books for all of her PhD study club and asked for prayers. Sandy - we're still praying for you! And another woman, Charlotte, came over to talk to me and said she loved to review unknown authors on her kindle. Charolotte, thank you for talking with me and I'm looking forward to hearing about your son and your story.
All in all, I have learned a lot about exposing myself to the world-wide public. It's not easy to be an artist (all you artists out there know what I'm talking about) but it's worth it, you know. To be able to share a piece of yourself, even if it is rejected, is what life is all about. And I'm learning to embrace this experience. I'm sure in time it will get easier and I will handle rejection better. Until then, keep me in your prayers and buy Mended Fences - it has something for everyone in those nine short stories.
God bless you all,
Angel Seidenberg
Author of Mended Fences
