My passion has been found!

"Do you like music," the little seven year old girl asked the ten year old boy. "More than food," he said in reply.

Ever since I heard those two lines from the movie, August Rush, I wanted to know what it felt like to have that kind of passion for something. That all else stops just so you can do that very thing. No excuses. Nothing can deter you from the path towards that very thing you want to do.

This morning when I woke up I reached over and picked up my tablet and pencil from my night stand. I wrote for over an hour. It felt good to be able to start my day by allowing my creativity to flow before I did anything else. And last night, I found a well lit hole and wrote for over an hour because I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't.

I havn't finished another short story yet, but I have several stories in the making, which I think is a bonus because when I finally do finish them all then I'll have a lot done all at once. (I'm really trying to stay positive about it all.)

I have a great idea for a series of short stories. I'm going to start writing on them either tonight or tomorrow. I feel the calling and I have in-depth knowledge about the subject. I cannot wait to begin!

OH, I also tried a bit of free-style poetry writing this morning. My husband has a nice little poem written about him. Hope he likes it. If not, it was fun to write and no bruises will be sustained from the dislike. (Keats is my inspiration!)

Sensitivity

As I made it through the rainy weather tonight to go to Mass I couldn't help but thank Jesus for His divine mercy. It covers us so completely, even when we don't deserve it. And here I sit, hours later feeling completely empty of sin and full of our Lord, Jesus Christ, with the words given by the Holy Spirit to Father Godwin running through my mind.

The gospel according to John:

"After this, Jesus went across the Sea of Galilee. A large crowd followed him, because they saw the signs he was performing on the sick. Jesus went up on the mountain, and there he sat down with his disciples. The Jewish feast of Passover was near. When Jesus raised his eyes and saw that a large crowd was coming to him, he said to Philip, 'Where can we buy enough food for them to eat?' He said this to test him, because he himself knew what he was going to do. Philip answered him, 'Two hundred days' wages worth of food would not be enough for each of them to have a little bit.' One of his disciples, Andrew, the brother of Simon Peter, said to him, 'There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish; but what good are these for many?' Jesus said, 'Have the people recline.' Now there was a great deal of grass in that place. So the men reclined, about five thousand in number. Then Jesus took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed them to those who were reclining, and also as much of the fish as they wanted. When they had had their fill, he said to his disciples, 'Gather the fragments left over, so that nothing will be wasted.' So they collected them, and filled twelve wicker baskets with fragments from the five barley loaves that had been more than they could eat. When the people saw the sign he had done, they said, 'This is truly the Prophet, the one who is to come into the world.' Since Jesus knew that they were going to come and carry him off to make him king, he withdrew again to the mountain alone." John 6:1-15

All this week and last week we've walked with the disciples through their journey right after Jesus' death and resurrection. And the words that the Holy Spirit said through Father Godwin are too good not to share. Tonight, though, he spoke of Jesus and the sensitivity he had towards people. Jesus is always sensitive to our needs; He knows exactly what we need even when we don't know it ourselves. I want to touch upon a part though, that Father Godwin brought up, and one that I would have missed had it not been him who showed us.

Any other person would have seen that great crowd and maybe they would have taught for a little while and then gone away, because they were such a great number what else could you have done? Jesus was always aware of what the people needed and therefore He looked to appease their hunger. And then Andrew found a little boy willing to give his food to Jesus to use.

Here's the part that I would have missed: What if that little boy had said, "No, this is my food and it's not even enough for my family. You cannot have it." Jesus would not have been able to create His miracle. Luckily that one soul was willing to give of himself, allow himself in other words, to be used as an instrument in God's almighty plan so that Jesus could feed over 5000 people!

Moral of the story (I love this part!): We have to be open to Jesus in order for Him to create miracles in our lives.

And that's it. It's really that easy. Well, there's other stuff, too, but it's a start. So I challenge you, this weekend, stop for a moment and say these words: Jesus, I trust you. Jesus, I trust you. Jesus, I trust you.

Holy Week

Time has a way of picking you up and carrying you away without you even knowing it. What a busy, wonderful week it has been. Holy Week was filled with a Chrism Mass, followed by the Mass of the Lords Supper (where I got my feet washed by Father Bob and Father Kris), and then Good Friday Mass, all ending with the Easter Vigil Mass!
Tuesday, the Chrism Mass encompassed so many beautiful spiritual elements! The Corpus Christi Cathedral is breath-taking and leaves you awestruck at the ornate design and the picturesque expanse of ceilings. My husband, stepson and I watched as over a hundred priests processed into the cathedral followed by the bishops all to the choir of angel's singing in the loft. The most amazing moment that night was when all the priests and bishops in one voice consecrated the host! It was the first time it physically hurt to watch everyone take the Body and Blood of Christ and I could only get a blessing. So close yet so far away, only four more days and I'll be able to join in with my brothers and sisters to celebrate completely in the Most Holy Sacrament of the Eucharist.

Thursday, the Mass of the Lords Supper. I was not, originally, one of the elect to have their feet washed. A good friend and ours, Luis, decided to help the Knights of Columbus pass out roses later that evening so he asked if I could take his place in the washing of the feet. God is so great, He really knows the intentions of your heart, because He paved the way for me to act as one of the disciples that had their feet washed by Jesus. I can't describe in words how it felt to be served by the priest impersona of our Lord, Jesus Christ. It truly felt as though our Lord was washing my foot and I was there with Jesus when he said, "'Unless I wash you, you will have no inheritance with me.' Simon Peter said to him, 'Master, then not only my feet, but my hands and head as well.' Jesus said to him, 'Whoever has bathed has no need except to have his feet washed, for he is clean all over, so you are clean, but not all.'"

Later in the Mass, after those who had their feet washed passed out loaves of bread, we processed, singing, around the outside of church with Jesus in a monstrance. When we entered the church again we were each given a rose and placed it in a vase at the alter for Jesus. The lights were dimmed and all were welcomed to stay and pray until midnight when Father Bob would remove Jesus from the church and the statues of our Blessed Mother and the Saints were covered in black to symbolize the passing of Jesus. We stayed until after ten when my husband and stepson could no longer keep their eyes open.

Good Friday, the day Jesus died for our sins... and my first confession. When we walked into the main church all I could do was feel agony at the sight. All of the statues had black cloth draped over them and the crucifix was draped in red. The tabernacle was empty and the alter was clear of any adornment. There were no lights; the only sign of life were the sinners standing in line to confess their sins. In the background the sounds of monks chanting. I had come to the funeral of our Lord Jesus. I stood in line for an hour and forty-five minutes to give my first confession. There was fear and dread when I went into the confessional, but stepping out of it I had a freedom I can't describe in words. It is the first time in my life that I felt completely free and clean and God's perfect love filled me to completion. When my husband joined me after his confession I told him I didn't want to leave the church just to get dirty by the world again. He laughed and said we must go out into the world and proclaim the joy Jesus' sacrifice gave to us.

Saturday, Easter Vigil Mass. Saturday morning started out with our RCIA retreat - they made us sing and chant all before 9 o'clock! We actually sounded pretty good for people who were tired. After the retreat, which was filled with talks about Jesus and our faith we were allowed to go home for a couple of hours to get ready for the Vigil Mass.

The Mass started out with all of the Elect and Candidates standing around a pit of fire with the priests and choir. When Fr. Bob placed the five nails into the Easter candle to signify the wounds that Jesus took for us on the cross that is when the tears began for me (and they didn't end until the party later that night). We then processed, singing, into the darkened church. Fr. Bob lifted the Easter candle three times to signify the number of times Jesus fell for us while carrying the cross. At each stop he lit one of the parishoners candle and by the time he got to the alter most of the church, once dark, was alight with candlelight. Amazing how the start of one little flame can create light for the whole church.

From there we heard readings from the Bible (my stepson did an amazing job reading the part of Isaac) and then watched the Elect get baptised. It was an amazing sight to see the Elect change their dirty brown robes into clean white robes to represent the cleansing that Jesus had given them. From there we (all Elect - now called Neophytes and the Candidates) walked up to the alter to be confirmed by Fr. Bob - who sealed us with the Holy Spirit. At that moment I received a new name (Teresa for St. Teresa of Avilla) and the gifts of the Holy Spirit. And then, what I have been waiting for since I stepped into the Catholic Church - I got to participate in the Most Holy Sacrament of the Eucharist! And let me tell you, my life will never be the same! I have a new-found peace that only our blessed Jesus could give me! He is my best friend and I'm so in love with him! Praise you, Jesus, for saving me by giving up your life and for writing my name in the Book of Life.

Now what? You ask. It's back to my normal routine, only, now I have the gifts of the Holy Spirit: Wisdom, Understanding, Counsel, Fortitude, Knowledge, Piety and Fear of the Lord. Combined with the fruits of the Holy Spirit: Charity, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Generosity, Gentleness, Faithfulness, Modesty, Self-control, and Chastity - I'm on my way to becoming a saint. Well, I have a long while until that happens - but I'm making a good start. And now, I get to fully serve at church and around the city. I am a part of a gigantic family and they love me and I love them. I've been wanting that for a very long time.

Praise you, oh most sacred heart of Jesus, lift me up to you and fill me with your peace and joy - so much that I shall want nothing more.